oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
