the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
