It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
