I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
