Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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