I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
