All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
