i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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