I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
