so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
