You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
