So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
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