Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
