Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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