I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
