You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
