I think I am morally bankrupt
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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