god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
