Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
