This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
