Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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