DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
