I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
