Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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