summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
