i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
