Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
