haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
