at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
