This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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