fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
