ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
