I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
