that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
