Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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