he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
