Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
