She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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