I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
