so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
