Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you had me at cake vodka
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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