There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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