he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
