We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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