But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
