porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
