Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
