I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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