He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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