So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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