so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The Olympian is in my bed
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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