Define "chronic" masturbator.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
