i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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