i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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