His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
