Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
im on a boat
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