When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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