We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
whose parrot is this?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
