i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
