Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
